Pray this doesn't happen to you

Way to GO!

I though a little success story would keep us all motivated these last few days.  Bet he never thought that his skinny picture would look so good!  Too bad he ate his right nipple in his sleep. 

Male Bulimia

This was a GREAT article.  So many good tips and I found the photos to be very motivating.

Shave pounds off, shave those feet

Idea: head to the pedicurist, grab a razor and have your Vietnamese frienemy go to town on those feet.  I lost 1lb 6 oz just from exfoliating dead heal skin.  And since long toe nails are out this season, try going short and you may knock off a couple of more lb's. 


Check out my feet before and after!

and now....

Thank God, a diet we can stick to in Harbour

I called ahead and notified the bar staff to have those Martini glasses ready.

Take this now!

Ill give you the anibiotics to cure when you get to Harbour.

Stepping up the diet. Three ticks up my sleeve....

Here are 3 ways I am stepping up the diet.


1. Pad lock the fridge.  Who cares if you spent $5000 on a sub-zero.  Slam that shut!!!!

2. Electro shock thearapy  (kinda messes up the hair, but worth it )

3. Face mask and strait jacket.  I had mine made by the same craftsmen who make Hermes bridels using the best leathers and canvas.  A little tricky to wear at work, but can easily be consealed with a scarf

No those aren't tatas!

Shay signing on.....
Now if this won't get you to the gym...just say no to back fat!

Miss Nasty

Ok, peeps, there is essentially one week left so I thought there should be some tough love.  Nothing makes me want to staple my mouth shut like an image of Janet, FAT, jogging on the beach.  No packing sweats for Harbour, even preppy ones with anchors.  I have to stop typing, I only had 67 calories today.

Remember Me? Susan Powter, diet expert

I thought I should do some legit research on weight loss.  So went to the local Christian Science Reading Room to do my homework.  They had no books on dieting, to be honest I forgot, all religious zelots are fat. But I did run into the one and only Susan Powter!  Yes you read right, she is now a librarian and weighs 450 pounds.  My point is, running into her made me remember what an amazing motivator Susan was.  So I dug up some of her infomertials and even got a copy of her book from the homless lady who sells crap on 7th ave.  Let me tell you there is nothing that helps you loose weight like screaming lesbians.  STOP THE INSANITY

My Favorite is her video: Trailer Park Yoga.

Rib Removal Sugery

I learned another procedure. Rib Removal Surgey is easy to do simultaniously with gastric bypass. (I think Matty may have already had this....SHHH! ) Get your shape Janet Jackson style.

Take a hand full of these every day....

and youre sure to drop some poundage and be beach ready!

click here to purchase!

Motivation to keep that trap shut...

No one wants to be a Jessica Simpson: No Nick, No Reality Show, No waist

And K-fed, is more like over feed.  As if that Yellow Moo-Moo untucked hides the problem!

Sunsceen/Fat Melter

Run, dont walk, to Bliss for this sunscreen with fat melting solar activated slender spheres.  Need I say more?

Jump Suits That makes you loose weight!

For the fellas

For the ladies

Made of heat retaining PVC, these suits will not only keep you styling, you will be melting away.  Stand next to the oven while the turkey is cooking for additional convection activity.  You may have a little swamp ass, but no fat ass!

Happy Thanksgiving!  DONT EAT

A Tribute to the King of Fitness!

Nobody knows how to motivate fat people (and take their money) like Richard Simmons. 

Caffein Tights: Starbucks Gone Bananas!

We can all related to getting the Starbucks Triple Red Eye 3-4 times a day to induce a healthy laxitive effect. I can barely make it home before I am dumping several pounds.    Now you can wear your caffein.  Slip on these tights made of coffee beans and body heat releases caffeine microcapsules into the leg, thus promoting the metabolism to kick in and start burning the fat.

I am wearing them now, they feel sexy and are a great nude color so no one can tell. Look how hot!

My new favorite diet food!

Don't be like Jake a statistic

Rock House Beach